


Don't Think Yourself so Innocent

by Retro_Seven



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Nightmare, Psychological Horror, repost from my ff.net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 02:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10867617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retro_Seven/pseuds/Retro_Seven
Summary: The Earl's conscious loves to eat at him when he sleeps.





	Don't Think Yourself so Innocent

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Takes place immediately after chapter 223  
> Warning: some freaky dream shit and Earl/Adam/Mana bashing (kinda)

It was one of those nights again; those nights where Adam crawled onto his bed and curls into a ball and wails himself to sleep forbidding any of his noahs from entering his room. How did it all go wrong? All he wanted was a peaceful life with his family, his whole family, including the 14th.

He was so selfish, and power hungry, and destructive, but he loved him regardless.

He just wanted him home. By his side.

It was _his_ fault. He's the cause of it! That dreadful Mana!

He hated him so much.

His anger exhausted him enough for him to sleep at last. Without Road to help him through the dream world, he was on his own battling the inevitable nightmares to come.

He woke up to a familiar setting but was still in a bit of a daze at first, too stung out to take any details in. However, Adam soon recognize it as the original Ark once it all became clear. He thought he would never see his old home again. He roamed around with no purpose until he stop by the library door when a bout of laughter caught his attention. He opened it and his blood froze.

Seated at the table was Neah, his brother and would be murderer, but on his knees was a red-headed child swing his legs playfully, and across the table was the man that he dedicated so much of his hate towards, Mana Walker. He shook with a mixture of emotions that shouldn't mix. Love, hate, confusion, and anger.

They didn't seem to notice the interloper as they continued their chattering. Adam stood by not knowing what to do or say, so he so he stayed still and watched the scene before him.

"Aww, Allen you got your hair cut! I thought you were adorable with a ponytail, but you're even cuter than ever!", the 14th cooed over his nephew.

"Uncle, you're so embarrassing, stop it! Stop teasing me!", Allen squished his face playfully, it earned a chuckle from Mana.

"I couldn't help it! You can be so cute when you're mad!", the uncle patted the child's hair.

"I'm not cute!", Allen denied puffing his cheeks and stubbornly swatting Neah's hand away.

"I beg to differ.", his father countered. Allen's frown deepened at that.

"Say, the circus is coming tomorrow, and I was wondering if you want to go?", Neah asked the child whose eyes glowed with excitement at the mention of the circus.

"Can we? Dad can we go?", the boy turned towards his father.

"We can, but we would have to ask the other Mana.", they all turned to face Adam, the casual, friendly atmosphere dissipated and transformed into something more ominous. The sudden dead silence took the Earl by surprise.

"W-why are looking at me for?", the terrified man asked.

"Can I go to the circus, Mana?", the boy asked, the innocent tone of his words seemed uncanny and fake. 

"I'm not Mana!", he yelled.

"Of course you are.", Neah said pulling his nephew closer into a hug and rested his hand on top of his red hair.

"I'm not!"

"Then who are you?", Allen asked as he gave a soft smile.

"I'm The Millennium Earl! My name is Adam, the First Disciple!", Adam clutched his chest.

"Are you sure?, Mana asked tilting his head skeptically. While his tone was still kind it held an edge.

"You're Mana!", Adam pointed at Mana accusingly.

"Yes, that's right, I am!", Mana replied merrily giving the Earl a goofy grin.

"Then why are you calling me Mana?"

"Because you are.", Mana responded casually as if this screwed up situation was completely normal.

"I'm Adam!", he shouted. He's losing his damn mind. This isn't real!

"Adam doesn't exist anymore. He disappeared and never came back.", Allen's words were void of emotions. The jovial shine from his giant eyes were gone and it now gave off the air of knowing something he doesn't. Like a secret he's proud of keeping.

"What do you mean?", Adam asked almost whispering those words.

"None of us were supposed to exist, you know…" , the child replied.

"Why don't you take a seat with us? I can make you a cup of tea. How many cubes do you want? I know you can have quite the sweet tooth.", Mana offered as he pulled the chair next to him.

"No, no… I refuse!", he shot down the offer. Mana flinched from the rejection poorly hiding his hurt feelings. 

"Why not? Not thirsty? I can give you some lemonade or-" 

"It's because I hate you, Mana- Neah killed his own kin…", his voice cracked a bit, "He aligned himself with the Black Order- you took him away to somewhere I can't reach him, poisoned his mind, you both hurt me in terrible ways! There's a wound in my heart that will _never_ heal! **Traitors!** The both of you!", he snapped.

"Does that mean you hate _me_ then?", Neah asked leaning forward with interest.

"No... I'll never hate you-", his voice softened, " But that doesn't mean I'm not mad at you, that I hate what you did. I hate Mana, not you. I hate _Mana's_ Neah, but never you.", Adam explained. His face, voice, and posture looked like it aged a thousand years at that moment.

"What did I ever do to you?", Mana questioned. Adam's body shook with rage. How _dare_ he asked what he did wrong! He  _knew_  what he did!

"YOU TOOK NEAH AWAY FROM ME! YOU TURNED HIM AGAINST OUR FAMILY AND I, YOU MADE NEAH AND I KILL EACH OTHER. YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF THIS! ALL YOUR FAULT!", the Earl screamed balling his hand into tight fists. A vain was popping out of his neck and his skin was slick with sweat. He looked tired, rabid, and scared.

"Oh…", was Mana's response to Adam's outburst. A looming quietness settled between the joining family member as the three Walkers started at the Earl still shocked at his outburst. Then they laughed as if Adam was a clown who told the audience a joke.

"You're funny daddy.", the boy giggled. "What's that?", Allen lifted up a Road doll, Adam didn't remember him holding that before, he pressed it's sown on mouth to his ear.

"Well then who's fault is it that he didn't know sooner.", the child scolded the doll as if it was a misbehaving pet.

"Hmmm, name calling again… that's not nice.", he paused, "Then too bad you're not here then. I can do what I want and say what I feel like saying. No ones gonna stop me.", the child gloated.

"Awwww~, what's the dollys saying?", Neah gushed over his nephew's antics.

"Nothing important. Just stupid things.", he huffed twirling the doll's yarn hair with his short chubby fingers.

"You guys are insane…", Adam shook his head in disbelief. 

"And you're not?", Mana grinned all too smugly.

"I hate you so much", the Earl declared baring his teeth at the long haired man.

"I know. And I hate you back. And you know why?", Mana got up and strolled over to Adam so casual and relaxed it intimidated the shaken Millennium Earl. He leaned in smiling.

"I hate you, with every fibre of my existence, because you're the cause of everything~❤", he singed.

"You ate me, Mana- You chased me, Mana- I never felt safe in your presence. It was always you that I hated the most.", the 14th's eyes turned black as he grinned wide. "You didn't even hear me out! You pushed me away and brushed me off until it was too late. I expected you to attack me, like a damn dog. I was only defending myself from both you and the others! But regardless, I was painted as the traitor and you presented yourself as the _poor, poor victim_. Did you really thought I enjoyed killing my own kin? I felt their pain as I killed them! I mourned them and cried after every battle! They haunted my conscious until the day I died! I never felt peace, not when I was running, not when I was dying, and not when I live once more. I lost everything!", the noah of destruction spat.

"I lost my brother, and my sanity that day.", Mana hissed. None of his kindness from before was present. 

"I lost my father twice in my life, and I lost myself forever. Red has gone into oblivion with Adam in tow. I had to borrow my father's mask to endure the pain. And it's because of _you_.", Allen testified sneering every word he said.

"Quiet!", Allen violently smashed the doll against the table. The sudden action made the Earl jump.

"Now stop it, you're going to spill your tea.", Mana chided his son.

"Sorry Dad.", Allen pouted. His expression would've been cute had the situation not been this fucked up. Adam pulled at his hair and closed his eyes tightly trying to will himself to wake up.

" _Wake up_ - _Wake up_ - _Wake up!_ ", he felt a tug on his coat; he opened his eyes and saw Allen's giant gray eyes looking up at him.

"Can we go to the circus, dad?", Allen held Adam's hand and led him away swinging the doll he held as he sung about the circus. He doesn't know why he's letting any of this happen. He just followed the red-headed child. He quietly noted that they weren't at the Ark anymore, where they were was a mystery. But he felt like he had been here before, he just doesn't remember. Beneath their feet was the crushing sound of melting snow mixed with dirt, they were going down alleys and corridors, passing by shops, apartments, and restaurant, however it was strangely quiet, quietly empty.

"What are you excited to see? I want to see the clowns! I can't wait to see them juggle and balance on those huge, colorful balls! And those circus dogs that do tricks!", the boy joyfully said.

"Stop please!", Earl pleaded.

"But dad!", Adam took his hand back.

"No, don't call me that!", Allen stayed silence for minute studying his face.

"Okay then, but I have a surprise for you~", an uncomfortably wide smile stretched across Allen's face. "I don't want it!", Earl tried to be authoritative but his voice cracked.

"Too bad, turn around and see your super, amazing present!", he did and saw that familiar tombstone, on it was written 'MANA WALKER'.

"This is yours."

" _No_ , it's-"

" **SO MAYBE NOW I COULD TURN YOU INTO AN AKUMA!** ", Allen ripped his nails into the doll's belly causing the stuffing to spill out, " **OR PERHAPS YOU'D RATHER BE CURSED FOR ALL ETERNITY!** ", he bit the doll's head ripping it off and spitting it on the floor, " **WOULDN'T YOU LOVE TO SEE THE CRUELTY YOU INFLICT ONTO OTHERS ON FULL DISPLAY- HAVING TO FACE THE UGLINESS YOU CAUSED! THE DECAYED STATE YOU LEFT THEIR SOULS IN!** ", the child's screech pierced the sky. The ground shook and the winds bellowed around the crazed child. His grin could reach each ear and his face crinkled up into grimace. 

"They made a deal!", the Earl justified.

" **YOU MADE A DEAL WITH CHILDREN, THE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE, AND THE MENTALLY ILL, WHO WERE IN NO SHAPE TO MAKE DEALS AND KNEW NOT WHAT THEY WERE GETTING INTO! I WAS** _ **10**_ **WHEN YOU SOLD ME SNAKE OIL! AND WHAT OF THE SOULS YOU STOLE FROM HEAVEN! DID YOU ASKED THEM?** ", Allen's voice became a distorted shrill, so painful to listen to. He raked his nails across his face leaving deep gashes across his face; his hair turned bright white and his cursed scar bleed into existence, as fresh as the day he got it.

" **JUDGMENT DAY HAS COME FOR YOU AT LAST. NOW REPENT, YOU LOWLY ANT, FOR EVERY PERSON YOU EVER DID THIS TO. EVERY AKUMA YOU MADE AND EVERY LIFE YOU TOOK AWAY. GOD IS WAITING FOR YOU.** ", His arm contorted and shaped itself to huge, blackened claws and charged at the Earl.

" **DON'T WORRY I'LL MAKE YOUR CURSE MATCH MINE. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.❤** ", Allen struck Adam through his left eye, his skin and hair paled. An explosion of agonizing pain dominated his face. Allen's wicked smile was the last thing he saw before he screamed for everyone in heaven and hell to hear.

 

"MILLENNIUM"

"Please wake up!"

...

"You have to wake up!"

"Lord Millennium wake up!", the Earl shot up with sweat dripping down his face. He was awake now. Awake for real. His family surrounded his bed shook to the bone with worry and fright.

"It's alright, we're here. There's no need to be afraid!", Wisely hugged his lord tightly as he bawl his eyes out.

The Earl breath heavily happy to be awake, but his heart was now riddled with guilt. He shook uncontrollably and started weeping. He wanted to see Neah and Allen, the two of them, again more than ever before, if only to say sorry. That he was sorry he ever caused such pain.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: "but we would have to ask the other Mana"- Oh shit, Bass drop!  
> If you're wondering why Allen has the Road doll, it's because Roads trying to establish a connection to the Earl's nightmare and put a stop to it. But she's so weak that it didn't do anything. Allen biting her head off is him ceasing the connection and casting Road out of his dream. Poor Road. She only wants to help.
> 
> Please comment, critique, and give suggestion if you would like!


End file.
